What Am I Missing?
I recently received an invitation to solo with our local community orchestra. While this is by no means an opportunity to "make it big time," it's still exciting because it gives me a reason to study and practice, perhaps to learn a new piece of music or dust off an old familiar one, and to do something that's high on the list of things that I'm able to do skillfully.
In traditional Vulcan fashion, I'm trying to manage the excitement, fight it, repress it. ("Come and see the violence inherent in the system!") Excitement gets in the way. It distracts from the other things I need to do (and I don't need any more distraction, thank you very much), and it creates a huge opportunity for disappointment. Excitement is not pragmatic.
As I over-analyze my internal workings, I find myself wondering just what I'm missing by refusing to revel in excitement, to bask in it briefly. Surely God gave us this emotion for a purpose. And what physiological effect does excitement-management render on my body? Am I damaging something by suppressing this form of eustress?
In traditional Vulcan fashion, I'm trying to manage the excitement, fight it, repress it. ("Come and see the violence inherent in the system!") Excitement gets in the way. It distracts from the other things I need to do (and I don't need any more distraction, thank you very much), and it creates a huge opportunity for disappointment. Excitement is not pragmatic.
As I over-analyze my internal workings, I find myself wondering just what I'm missing by refusing to revel in excitement, to bask in it briefly. Surely God gave us this emotion for a purpose. And what physiological effect does excitement-management render on my body? Am I damaging something by suppressing this form of eustress?
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